Bad Wax Review – 1991-92 Hoops Series 1

Enough of my soapboxing and get back to what I do best, making fun of bad packs of cards.  I have to admit when I pulled out today’s pack of 1991-92 Hoops cards, I was actually excited because I thought that this might be Robinson’s rookie card.  I went to Tuff Stuff and it turns out it’s not even listed as a set.  Meaning every card is essentially worthless!  You know I was excited to find out that absolutely nothing in this pack is going to be worth anything! Sounds like I have a pack of potential autograph cards.  Here is what the pack looks like:

I look on the back and there are no chaser cards.  However, I do find out that Hoops was based in Research Triangle Park.  Which is where I live and work, So I have to go by the address listed to see what’s there after work.  Let’s tear into this bad boy (15 cards) and see what kind of crap turns up :

1. Kevin Duckworth – Western All-Star – 263 – It shows old Kevin setting up for a rebound with 2 people completely eclipsed by his body, Kevin was a BIG guy.  Funny thing is I don’t remember Duckworth being All-Star worthy.

2. KC Jones – Supersonics – Coach – 245 – Ah yes the coach card, it may even be more worthless than the middle reliever card.  It just looks wrong though seeing him as coach of the Sonics, kind of like watching Steve Spurier coach the Redskins.  It’s just weird.

3. Portland Trailblazers Team card – 285 – Not a check list or a team leader card, get this it’s a team card telling us that they lost to Detroit in the finals last year.  Clyde is on the front, I don’t know the other guys.  Funny though Duckworth isn’t on the front and he was an All-Star.

4.  Checklist #1 – 328 – Hmmm coaches card or check list what is worse?  So far 4 cards in and not one players base card.  That is impressively bad. May even be a record for me.

5. Jim Les / Trent Tucker League Leaders – 307 – You might be wondering what did these 2 lead the league in? I know you might be wondering that because I am.  Seems that they are the best in 3 point field goal percentage.  Give you 5 points if you know what teams these two are on and no internet help!  FYI – Tucker at 0.418 had the same percentage as Jeff Honacek but had 3 more baskets so h’s on this card.

6. Rolando Blackman – Mavs – 43 – First off the picture has him locked in a defensive battle with Hornacek, how completely undramatic is that? Rolando was a good player though averaging 19.3 points a game over his 10 year career at that point.  Pretty solid.

7. Horace Grant – Bulls – 28 – I loved watching Ho play, plus he was a monster on the boards.  The picture has him shotting over Oakley, but the shot clock is in the background and it reads 14, which is odd since they really like to drain the clock, this must have been off of a fast break or something.

8. Tod Murphy – Timberwolves – 128 – Who?  There is a picture of him looking to pass the ball, after looking at his stats I think it was during warm-ups, Tod didn’t get into too many games, and the ones he did get into wasn’t for long.

9. Kenny Walker – Knicks – “Sky”, as I remember him is famous for one thing. Winning the slam dunk contest in 1989.  Other than that he could have won the league’s tallest afro contest. It’s a rare action shot where it looks like he is stamping on someone and about to spike the basketball on that person’s head.

10. Scottie Pippen – Bulls – 34 – Cool, now I have  Pip card to send for an autograph, I have to wonder though, would he even have had a tenth of the career he had without Jordan?  Was that the best right place, right time moment in all of sports history?

11. Tony Campbell – Timberwolves – 124 -  Tony apparently liked to play with the short shorts, but he was too self – conscience because he work the compression shorts under them.  I think I would be too, they are too short.

12. Kiki Vandeweghe – Knicks – 144 – I have a funny Kiki story.  I used to like playing basketball down at our local park when I was growing up in NJ.  This one night we were getting ready to run full court and there was this guy out there just shooting hoops and he is hitting everything.  So we ask him if he wants to play.  He ends up on my team and we are giving him the ball a lot, as he slashes through traffic, reverse layups and shoots from 3.  He doesn’t miss, we are congratulating him after every shot and end up staying on the court all night winning every game, thanks to him.  Afterwards, one of the guys I know tells me it was Kiki.  Gotta say for an older guy he could really move and shoot the ball.

13. Rumeal Robinson – Hawks – 5 – Man I thought he was going to be great in the league after watching him win the National Championship with Michigan in 89-90.  Do you think he sucked because he was on the Hawks?  Would he have been any better say if he was on the Bulls?  I doubt it.

14. Hakeem Olajuwon – Rockets – 78 – Right in the middle of his dominance.  He’s got to be a HOFer right?  I mean I don’t know what the criteria is for basketball players as much as I know for baseball players, but he’s gotta be going in.  The premiere center in the league at the time.

15. Kevin Edwards – Heat – 111 – Another 1st rounder that ended up being more of a niche player in the NBA.  I don’t have much to say except what was up with having a patch on the shorts of the Heat logo, must have been annoying to wear.

16. David Greenwood – Spurs – 192 – looks like he was on that 84-85 Bulls team that was so bad.  Just think he could have had that same role as Pippen, if only the Bulls kept him after that season.

That’s it 16 gloriously worthless cards!  I did get one extra card, so that was nice.  So let’s break out the ratings on this one (all ratings are out of 5.0 stars).

Initial price of pack – N/A – I am going to have to abstain from this one since there is no price on the pack.

Cards in pack – 15 – 3.0 stars – I gave it that extra half star since I actually got 16.  That was nice of them to make up for the checklist.

Stars in pack – 2 – 2.0 stars – Pip and Dream, two of the better players of that era.  I also got a lot of dead wood too.

Value of Pack – worthless – 0.0 stars -  I could have gotten the whole set on ebay for $1.99. Think about that, you know these packs for going for a buck, a minimum of 30 packs needed to complete the set. and it’s going for 2 dollars.  The best part is my brother hand collated this set.  Puts a big smile on my face knowing it’s worthless.

Card Design – 1.0 stars - I actually would have rated it higher if they stuck to the arch background from their original sets.  Instead they molded their design after the 89 UD baseball cards.  Not an ugly design, just boring.  Here is what it looked like:

Overall its a1.5 star pack, basically crap, it would have been lower but I was generous in the amount of cards (got a bonus card).  For anyone but me it’s tough to get stoked about a set like this.  For me it’s easy since I already know it’s going to be crap, I don’t have to hold back.  I will probably go for the Pip and Dream autos, I’ll let you know how that works out.