I am writing this post as a direct response to a post I read over at Sports Cards Uncensored. I first started dating my wife in 2001. I had stopped buying cards around 2000 (my third wave into basbeall cards) and I thought this time I was quitting for good. While dating my wife I never really had the urge, or time to buy cards or to keep up on the newest trends. Really it wasn’t until this past December (2007), that I did a search on sports card blogs, and started to get really involved with the hobby again. Thinking about it now, it made perfect sense. Born in 1971, I started collecting cards in 1978 – 1981, stopped for a few years and picked up again in 1986. I kept up with it until 1989 (when I graduated high school). Then went on a hiatus until 1999, got fed up with cards in 2000 because of all the different sets. Now almost 8 years later I’m back. Older and wiser and married.
My wife knew nothing of my sports card addiction (aside from the boxes and memorabilia that sat dormant in a corner of my apartment. She knew I was a pack rat, so I would never sell or throw them away, but she didn’t realize how addicted I was to cards in previous re-incarnations. Well that all came out in January, when I went crazy trying to get as much product as I could. The truth is when you come back into the hobby, there is a ridiculous amount of product out there. I realized quickly that trying to collect it all is futile. So I decided, what is the most important aspect of collecting to me? The answer came back quick, autographs, game used and a set from each year. So I promised myself I would get the Topps base set each year, some autos and game used from eBay, and maybe another set if I found a design I liked. I was still spending more money that either I or my wife wanted me to spend, so we came up with the $20 rule. We both get $20 for the week to do as we please. I usually save it and buy cards on ebay with it. She saves hers to buy hand bags she wants with it. Let me tell you, this was the best thing we ever did. Now I get the inserts I want and I spend what we agreed on. She’s fine with it, and I’m happy.
Next issue for me was blogging. I started blogging the beginning of this year with Badwax. Then I started Badhits to showcase some of my game used and autographs. Somewhere along the way the blogging consumed me and I was spending between 4-5 hours a day working on the blog. In the process I nearly was served divorce papers. Here’s what I stress to anyone who wants to start a daily blog. If you find yourself with time, like me when my wife is at work, blogs are great. You can express yourself and your vision of the hobby, it’s fun. But realize that these posts sometimes take hours. I think Chris over at Stale Gum said it best, don’t write a post to write a post. Spend 2 hours and post every few days, other than a few sentences every few hours. So now I take my time. I think my posts are better than ever and I do it on my schedule. I still try to do a daily site, but my wife takes priority. This should be a no brainer, but when getting caught up in blogs and posting, sometimes your priorities get all out of whack!
So heed my advice all you blogger wanna bes, remember what’s the most important thing to you. Don’t ever forget it and if it means not being able to post for a day, then so be it. Remember this is a hobby and not a lifestyle. I’m curious to know what everyone else’s stance is on this.
I’ve been collecting baseball cards continuously since 1986, 6 years into my marriage. I’m still married to the same wonderful woman 21 years later. She doesn’t mind my baseball card collecting at all and will even listen to me talk about the cards, even though she isn’t really interested. Like I said she’s a wonderful woman. I started blogging just this past February after discovering baseball card blogs in January. I have this sense that more than a couple of blogs started early this year. As far as my wife is concerned, blogging is just another facet of collecting. I could probably make a post every day about baseball cards but I’ve got other interests as well. I’m averaging 3-4 posts a week. As long as people keep coming back I’ll keep doing it. I’ve been trying to coin a phrase, the Baseball Card Blogosphere (or BCB for short) without much luck. I’m plugged into about 20 blogs a day and I try to make a few comments. I’m an old guy who should probably get out more often so I find this to be fun. Better this than watching television (unless the Astros are on).
Great post! I hope some of these guys take your advice. Trust me when I tell you it’s better to have your woman’s support cause it’s so much easier when your woman/wife actually wants you to spend $40 on some washed-up player’s game-used jersey.
Great Post. I just started blogging but I can already tell it bugs my wife some days. I’ve made it a point to involve her in all of my blogs. She proofreads everything I write (she kicks my butt on grammar…) and sometimes even encourages or inspires me to write certain posts.
When it comes down to it, compromise is the only thing that works in a relationship, and your 20 dollar rule is pretty good. Kudos to you for at least having the patience to save up for something you want.
As for me, ill probably stick with the arrangement we have, which is yours plus a little more compromise. We have agreed not to make any purchases of hobby items (purses included) over 25 dollars without consulting each other first. Money we make on ebay is ours to spend as we please, and every month we get 100 to spend without discretion. Its new, so hopefully this will work, because Coach bags and accessories are EXPENSIVE!! LOL.
Your post/story hit home with me on so many levels I just had to laugh and then comment. I graduated high school in 1987 and started collecting in 1988. I found some cards in a shopping cart and from that day (with a few minor layoffs as well) I have been addicted since. My soon to be wife is tolerant of my habit. She will actually buy me cards for Christmas and Birthdays but that is the extent of her involvement. The two U-haul boxes of cards I had in my apartment weren’t so bad until she saw the other 6 I had in storage–all waiting to be freed from the confines of an 8′ by 8′ cell which I am happy to report are.
I have several blogs I write (personal, cards, pack-a-day, work-related, etc). My wife loves to read the personal one and every once in a while will venture into the others. I learned the same thing you did: contrary to what everyone says about blogging, you DO NOT have to post every day. Your loyal readers will check in often. The casual readers won’t notice anyway. Sometimes a post should be thoughtful and long and ‘deep’ but sometimes, a quick rant or rave about something happening that interests or affects you is also a great change of pace…
If it were my actual job, then I’d post everyday. I post when I have the time. I started my main blog (White Sox Cards) when I was between jobs, so I was able to post several times a day. Now that I’m working again, I find that I post a little less, but a lot at once.
The way I look at it, the downtime gives my readers a chance to catch up through the archives.