Craigslist Idiot – Denver Version

I don’t know what it is about the thin air of Denver, but sometimes it leads to ads like this:

baseball cards – mixed lot – $650

mixed lot of cards from 88-92. all stars, rookies, limited cards are included. i’m just too busy to pull them out and sell individually. includes some basketball and football but mostly baseball. approximately 10,000 cards.

My Initial Take on the Ad: This is a great example of who I go after and dub my Craigslist Idiots.  First off, he can’t be bothered to actually list what he is selling, but he knows he wants $650 for it. Second, look at that picture, could it actually be worse? Are you really trying to sell your collection for $650 and that’s how you want it represented? It looks like crap and to top it off it’s next to a vacuum cleaner.  Really, to be honest, it looks like he was cleaning out his closet and stumbled across it, took a shot and viola, $650. Third, if you are too busy to sell the cards individually or even to list the highlights of the collection, you shouldn’t be on Craigslist, you are just wasting our time. If I had to guess a fair offer, I would say $50.

The Emails:

Me: Are the cards still available?

Craigslist Idiot (CI): Yes they are. (Wow are we really going to exchange 3 word emails?  I guess he is busy)

Me: Can you give me some specifics about the collection, what are the high dollar cards you are including?

CI: I’m not sure, you can come over and see for yourself. (How are you not sure, how did you come up with $650? What a fucking tool,I have to bring the embarrassment!)

Me: I guess what I am trying to figure out, is what makes this worth $650? There aren’t too many valuable cards from that era, I was thinking you had some really rare cards.  I mean for $650 there has to be some seriously rare cards right?

CI: Could be I’m not sure, when do you want to pick them up? (No way do you think I’m buying them for $650 with this kind of salesmanship)

Me: I live fairly far away, I’m just trying to figure out what to offer you?

CI: What do you mean offer? The price is $650. (Obviously he has no idea what Craigslist is all about, let’s teach him shall we?)

Me: This is Craigslist, it’s all about negotiating.  My first offer is $50, can I come by and pick it up today? (Why not give him a taste of his own medicine?)

CI: The price is $650 it’s firm. (Freaking tool! You don’t have a clue what you are even selling!)

Me: You don’t even have a clue what you are selling.  How can you possibly evaluate it at $650.  You couldn’t even tell me one player you were selling.  The truth is it’s tough to evaluate the price of this kind of lot.  What I do is defer to this video, it has helped me price lots of cards like the ones you are selling: http://voiceofthecollector.blogspot.com/2008/10/long-awaited-junk-wax-how-to.html. Since you seem like a cool guy, I’ll up my offer to $75.

CI: Whatever, I said serious offers only. (Now I officially hate you! Take this:)

Me: How can anyone be serious with you while you have in interest in being serious with a potential customer.  You have no idea what you are selling, you have no idea of the value, you could care less about it, but you want $650 for it and you have to nads to ask for serious offers only.  This was a serious fucking offer, it was probably even $50 more that the whole fucking lot was worth.  I should come by, buy the freaking cards and burn each one in your fucking driveway to show you just how worthless they are! (Easy chemgod, calm down, put the matches away . . . )

CI: You know what why don’t you come over so I can knock your fucking head off.

Me: What time is good for you?

End of Emails.

My Final Take: What a tool.  He had no idea what he was selling, no idea the value, but he wouldn’t let go of the $650 dollar figure.  He doesn’t understand that CL is a site to negotiate, not a firm only price type website.  Another reason why I should start filming these.  I’m a pretty big dude, people generally don’t want to fuck with me.  Plus I can talk your ears off and negotiate like a madman (thanks to the master,my dad).  I’m seriously considering this. It would make for an awesome web based show.  Pretend like I’m from the Antique Roadshow, then disgrace them in their house. Man I’m evil.