Return of the Craigslist Idiot

I know you all thought I bailed on ever doing another one.  Like the Atlanta one could ever be topped. Yet my wonderful wife, who comes up with nearly every idea for the blog, found this one which just made me giddy with excitement.  After reading it, you’ll be giddy too!

1980′s Baseball Card Collection For?? – $1

I have a large collection of baseball cards that I am looking to trade or sell. All of the cards are either rookies or stars. They have all been stored properly in plastic cases. I also have a bunch of sets & unopened rack pack cases from the 80′s. Most of the cards are from the years 1985-1990. There are a lot of rookies!!! For example:
20 Chipper Jones Rookies
20 Greg Maddux Rookies
30 Randy Johnson rookies
There are no commons!……Ripken, Puckett, Clemens, Mattingly, Griffey Jr, Smoltz, McGwire, etc…..
There are too many to list. This is a great investment. I am not getting rid of my whole collection. I am getting rid of about half of it.
I am open to just about any idea for trade. I really want a small plot on a lake or something. I am definately open to all offers. These cards are worth thousands and all are in mint condition!!!

My First Take: Half his collection? A small plot of land on a lake? Does this mean he’s holding the rest of it for a house to be built on the plot of land near the lake?  He plays so many cards in this one that my head spins from anticipation.  He played the “great investment” card, “lots of rookies” card, “No commons, all stars and rookies” card, and finally “the mint condition card”.  I don’t know about you, but I am hoping that this one takes a wild ride, I haven’t even figured out how I’m going to approach it, I am just going to wing it.

The Emails:

Me: I am new to the hobby and I am trying to acquire a nice collection.  Can you give me some more information about your collection.  How much do you think it’s worth? Also what kind of trade value are you looking for?

Craigslist Idiot (CI): OK, well we are talking about thousands of cards, and none of them are commons, these are all stars and rookies.  I have rookie cards of some of the most popular players in baseball historyif each of the cards was worth 2-3 dollars you are looking at 10-15 thousand dollars worth of cards here.  Many of these cards are worth even more than that, I’d say a good chunk of them are worth between 10-20 bucks a pop.  If I had to make an estimate on this lot, I would put it at close to 30 thousand dollars.

Me: Incredible, just amazing, can I ask why you want to get rid of it and not pass something like this down to grandkids and what not?  Also are any of the cards graded?

CI: To be honest, I just don’t have the room for them anymore, I have decided that I’d like to get a little peice of land by a lake, build a house and retire.  If you are looking for an investment, this is the lot for you.  Sit on these cards for 10 more years and watch it triple to quadruple in value.

Me: Is there anything except lake front property that you would be willing to trade for?

CI: I’ve given this a lot of thought, maybe a classic car, an addition to my current house, or just flat out cash.  What are you willing to offer?

Me: Well I guess my biggest concern, since I am new to the hobby, is what you would want cash for something like this? I am assuming a certified check would be fine since I don’t usually like to carry large sums of cash around with me.

CI: Certified check would be fine, as far as a dollar figure I was looking at around $25,000 as a starting point and we could negotiate from there.

Me: That actually seems like a fairly decent place to start, since we are talking about so many cards, would you be willing to ship it?  I don’t own a very large car and it would be a pain to do it any other way.  I would of course pay for shipping.  I really want to pass this along to my son, but he is away right now.  Would you be open to $17,000 + shipping charges, let’s say another $2000 for that?

CI: How about $23,000 and I’ll take care of the shipping costs for you?

Me: Hmmm . . . let’s call it $22,000 and you take care of the shipping charges.

CI: Done! So how do you want to handle it from here?

Me: I will have my secretary draw up the funds and wire it to you by check by way of Western Union. Also she will send you a shipping label with all the adresses and everything.  All you have to do is pack it in boxes and stick the label on and send it out.  My secretary is wiring the money to your email adress as we speak.  Attached is the shipping label. (below is the shipping label I sent him)

CI: Wait, you didn’t tell me I was shipping this to Lagos. I don’t feel to comfortable about this.  If we cant meet to exhange money then I think this negotiation is over.

Me: I have already wired the money to you, you have $22,000 in your Paypal account by way of Western Union, please let’s just follow through on this so that my son can get the cards he always wanted.

CI: I don’t know what kind of scam you are trying to pull here, I checked my Paypal account and there is no money in it.  Besides we agreed to a certified check only.  We are done. These cards are staying in the good ole USA. Bye!

Me: I can’t believe you are calling me a scammer.  Have you even looked up what 20 chipper jones rookie cards go for on eBay? I have <link> right there.  If you have 5000 or even 10,000 cards they are probably worth about 500 to 1000 bucks and that’s being nice.  Cards from that era aren’t investments, they are fire kindling <link>. What I tried to do to you was scam you like you are trying to do to me.

CI: What the hell are you talking about I told you what these cards are worth.  They are worth thousands!

Me: They are worth hundreds and in a pinch can be used as insulation for your house.  Try selling it on eBay and see how you do.  When you get a check for $700 don’t come crying to me.  A plot of lakefraont property are you kidding me?  Why don’t you aim higher, I mean I have a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge I’d trade for your cards.

CI: I hope you had fun wasting my time, I hope that someday you get whats coming to you.

Me: What’s that? A plot of lakefront property and a nice house? Good luck on that one.

End of Emails

Final Take: What a freaking scammer, I don’t know why I decided to take to Western Union / foriegn country shipping line.  Probably because we are trying to sell a laptop on Craigslist and keep getting those stupid cons.  Anyways, I just figured an eye for an eye, if he was going to try and scam me, why don’t i try and scam him.  He’ll never get what he is looking for.  A classic car? Lakefront propert are you serious.  I hope you had a fun time reading this one because I had a blast interacting with him.

Craigslist Idiot Update: From now on when you see a Craigslist Idiot post, it will be fun and original.  That means less of them, but they should be a blast to read.  I was getting bored of the same interaction over and over, and I bet a lot of you were as well.