Craigslist Idiot – No Clue Edition

It took me a long time to hook a good one, but this was too good.

363+ baseball cards for sale – $530

i got a huge collection of baseball cards, nearly all from the 1980′s the earliest date is 1979 and the latest is 2002. im selling these because i really need the money. almost all cards im asking $1.50 for each, but there are 6 that were apraised at over $10 they are as follows:

1985 rick rhoden: pirates: 14.99
1987 pedro guerrero: dodgers: 15.99
198? tim raines: expos: 12.95
2001 hideo nomo: red sox: 10.00
1979 Ron leFlore: tigers: 17.99
1995 chuck knoblauch: 14.99
these cards are seperate from the $530 im askign for all the rest. theres are over 363 topps, fleer, and starr brand cards. i need to sell them in bulk, no small orders please, i prefer to sell in large quantities, i might take a trade im still deciding, must be bought in bulks of 75+ ($112.50) i will take the time to search for specific players if required, i only have 1979-1991 and VERY FEW 1999-2001. all cards are offical MLB brand email for more details. MUST SELL SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!

First Take: What??? I know of no Rick Rhoden card worth $14.99, I wonder who did the appraisals? Ron Leflore? Knoblauch? Seriously? Wonder why he wanted 14.99 for the Rhoden and 10 even for the Nomo? What is the deal with the $112.50 for 75 common cards. I don’t know about you but I sure am glad they are official MLB brand.  Let’s have some fun shal we?

The Emails:

Me: Are the cards still for sale. (hook with some bait)

Craigslist Idiot (CI): They are, I still have all of them, what are you interested in?

Me: All of them, every single card you have.

CI: Sweet its $616.91 for all of the cards including the high dollar ones. When do you want to meet? (Are you on crack?)

Me: I noticed you have a lot of exclamation points after saying you need to sell them soon, how soon do you need to sell them.

CI: I would like to unload them by the end of the week.

Me: What happens at the end of the week?

CI: I am moving out and this is going towards my new apartment.  So when do you want to meet?

Me: I’d like to negotiate the price, I assume you are taking best offers.

CI: Be reasonable, these are some pretty valuable cards.

Me: OK, my reasonable offer is $3.63 (since he likes using pennies in his sale price).

CI: What are you crazy these cards are worth a fortune, not a dime under $600.

Me: Do you have any idea what the cards are really worth?

CI: The appraiser told me they were worth at least $600.

Me: My appraiser (eBay) tells me that your appraiser (Mr. Idiot) is very far off.  Here is your Rick Rhoden card on eBay <link> or how about your precious Ron LeFlore card <link> how about a bunch of random cards from the 80s <link>. So to put it mildly, you are charging too much.

CI: You don’t understand, if I don’t get $600 I don’t get an apartment.  Are you sure you aren’t interested for $600?

Me: I can buy cards as good if not even better than yours for much much less on eBay.  But you are local so I’m offering my hard earned $3.63 to you first.  That was quite a few walked dogs you know!

CI: I’m going to hold off for a better offer.

Me: OK OK I really want these cards, do you take Western Union money transfers?

CI: I was hoping to get cash but I guess I could.

Me: Do you ship overseas?  I live in Laos.

CI: Would you pay me the $600?

Me: If you take my native currency the Laos Kip, I will send you 32,000 Kip for the cards. (about $4 US)

CI: Wait, what???? What is a Kip?

Me: It’s my country’s currency a Kip is like a dollar. Come on you do the deal for 32,000 Kip, I will wire to you by Western Union and you ship me the cards.

CI: No it has to be cash.

Me: A kip is cash idiot.  Just Laos cash. The 32000 has been wired to you.  Please send out the package using this:

Now when can I expect the cards?

CI: No deal bye.

Me: You are stealing 32000 Kip from me, you have to ship it the money is on its way to you I thought we had a deal.

CI: What are you some kind of idiot, I’m not selling you the cards.

Me: We have a saying in Laos that fits you perfectly, “Oobaa baa min cha wah”, it means (roughly) “man who sell bad wax for high prices is a moron”.  Please send back my Kip when it arrives or I shall have to call Interpol on you.

CI: You are a real fucking asshole you know that?

Me: Thank you in my country that is a compliment.  Have a nice time trying to get an apartment with 32,000 Kip worth of cards.

CI: Fuck Off!

Me: Excellent, have a fuck off day to you too sir.

Final Take: I decided to try and make this one last a while that’s why I shifted gears and went the international route.  I didn’t even realize the shipping label was for the wrong country.  What a scammer, he needs $600 for something I doubt it’s for an apartment.  I can’t imagine anyone is going to shell that out for these cards.  I just don’t think so.