(Jupiter Island, Fl.) - This weekend Fortune Magazine hinted that Tiger Woods might be running out of money. Upon hearing the news, Upper Deck stepped up to the plate and came up with a new and novel set. VP of Marketing from from Upper Deck was quoted as saying, “We here at Upper Deck never stop with innovative new card set ideas” he continued, “Tiger needs money and we need new sets. It just made sense.”
On Friday Tiger came to Upper Deck with some personal items he was willing to sell. There was the usual, shirts, clubs, golf balls, and hats, but there was one thing that caught the eyes of all the executives. Tiger’s pre-divorce little black book. Upon seeing this very valuable little item, gears started turning in the card designer’s heads.
Tiger’s Little Black Book
Upper Deck released the following statement, “Today Upper Deck announces the purchase of Tiger Wood’s little black book. With the success of the Benchwarmers cards, we here at Upper Deck are putting together our first adult oriented set. We are very excited because as always Upper Deck strives to bring you closer to the game. With the pages from this black book, we are going to bring you very close to the game.”
Details of the set are limited, however the base set of 200 cards will feature all of the ladies in the book as well as their vitals. There will also be a subset featuring the chronology of the events leading up to the breakup of his marriage. All the subjects in the base set will also have autographed cards. Each autograph being limited to 500 signatures. As for the book itself, it will be cut up into smaller pieces and will have the phone number and the address of one of Tiger’s “associates”. There will also be one limited edition, Live Like Tiger cards that will allow the person who claims it to be flown out to Las Vegas where they will be wined, dined and well let’s just say treated to a weekend worthy of Tiger Woods.
Super Tiger Woods Collector Gunther Reed said, ” I have nearly 3000 Tiger Woods cards and when I heard of this release I was floored.” He went on to say, “This will be one of the most celebrated sets of all time, I have already placed my pre-order for 10 cases. I just hope I land that Live Like Tiger card.” Owners of card stores around the country have gotten record pre-orders for this product. Even though it’s not due out until November 26, the two year anniversary of the Woods’ mishap, people are just going crazy trying to get their orders in.
Tiger Woods Super Collector Gunther Reed
Reportedly Woods was paid in excess of 5 million dollars for his black book, half of the proceeds from the sale of the book will go to Elin as per their divorce settlement. When asked for a quote niether Tiger’s or Elin’s representatives would return calls. Tiger did however issue a statement about the purchase citing, “It’s time for me to move forward with my life and the first step is getting rid of my demons.” Speculators have made noise that Tiger has a new black book, that puts the one he sold to shame. Only Tiger and his caddie Stevie Williams know the answer to that though.
Boxes of the cards will be selling for $349.95 and contain 24 packs containing 4 cards each. Each box will have three autographs and one Tiger event used items. Every other case will have a cut of Tiger’s black book. This is limited to just 200 1/1 cards. These will no doubt be the gems of the release. Pictures of the product will be released in the coming weeks.
Disclaimer - This is a parody and in no way reflects real life.
Good day to be home, sick as a dog, and this was the 1st thing I read!!! LOVE IT!!! and crazy, 1 day, I guess in this business you just never know